just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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