her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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