Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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