I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
