Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
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Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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