He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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