I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
