let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
