Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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