You're my little dorito
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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