Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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