Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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