its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
we're so committed to being not committed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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