is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
