She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
