and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just invented taco cereal.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
