i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
