I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
