mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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