Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
