she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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