So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
