I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
