So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
