There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
