i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
