i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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