I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
