I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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