He uses pillows to masturbate.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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