she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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