I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
