I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
