mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs