I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.