Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!

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(904): View more from Florida

I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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(702): View more from Nevada

you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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(646): View more from New York

There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

(1-646): View more from New York

Your pregnant arnt you

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was

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(360): View more from Washington

we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?

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