just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".