Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?

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  (219): So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love? http://tfl.nu/2z3k
  Replies (14) Good night (562) Bad night (2216) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1419) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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  (215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2
  Replies (13) Good night (1237) Bad night (3688) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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  (401): This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/lyuy
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.

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  (805): he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop. http://tfl.nu/2w6b
  Replies (14) Good night (2790) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.

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  (936): I swallowed for you. Answer the phone. http://tfl.nu/f04x
  Replies (12) Good night (4066) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision

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  (631): Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision http://tfl.nu/3v04
  Replies (23) Good night (1309) Bad night (2471) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

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  (414): Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table? http://tfl.nu/liu6
  Replies (7) Good night (2251) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.

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  (519): I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore. http://tfl.nu/9p2a
  Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.

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  (508): merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash. http://tfl.nu/86x1
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (1894) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change

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  (702): This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change http://tfl.nu/0eyu
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (251)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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  (256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late

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  (775): This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late http://tfl.nu/ovyj
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (198)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that

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  (508): No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that http://tfl.nu/lub4
  Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material

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  (+44): I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material http://tfl.nu/6zdu
  Replies (5) Good night (1126) Bad night (139)

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