well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.