i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize