careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
