I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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