Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize