Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
