Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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