haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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