I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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