I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
