You work out of a Hotel?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
