Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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