Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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