i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
