do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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