What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
