I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
