At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
