Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
