Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
