Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
