and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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