I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
