they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
