Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?