She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.