love makes seman taste better
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.