I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.