Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.