My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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