you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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